November 8, 2014 11:47 PM...
Can't sleep...
For some reason there is a lot of USELESS things that's going in and out of my head. Ever had that moment where you are, sort of, Day Dreaming... Although its night time... And you should have been snoring your self to sleep... Yeah... I am having that Night Time Day Dreaming-ish...
The internet is not helping either. I have finished reading all the updates in Manga websites for the week (prior this night). I have nothing to watch and can't watch anything in YouTube ('cause I have watched them all). I was imagining my self as a cook, preparing mouth watering dishes ( I end up eating biscuits, and only biscuits ). I have flash memories of trailers and movies in the horror department ( I don't know why). Damn it, I just can't sleep.
While my girl is snoring away, I am all awake doing non sense. Well... Facebook and stuff...
But then, I suddenly remembered my Blog Site. Oh My God! I have a Blog Site, that I have forgotten all this time. So I thought, I might as well write something.
Unfortunately, I have nothing significant to write. My mind is full of soo may things that I can't start with What, Where, How and BullSh*t..!!
Ehem! Ehem! Pardon my French...
Damn it! I Don't Give a Sh*t! I'll cuss if I want. This is my Blog any ways...
As if some one would read this piece of garbage.
I mean people know that this is just scribbling and what not...
Hmm.....
Breathe....
My be I should start with the event that, somehow, tipped off the whole progress that I had?
Or maybe from the part where I thought I had progress in terms of "Progress" in my life?
Hmm...
March 2014. I was hired as a Customer Service Representative (again!). Then I was out last October.
Trust me when I say this, I really have done my best. In fact, I must say that my time in this company was sort of an achievement for me. I was doing good, though not all the time if you look into my bonus pay, but I had my late and absenteeism cured down to 5%. ( Unlike before where a week would not end if I were not absent or late for not less than twice every week)
It was a very good feeling. I failed to get promoted, but it was ok. It was the very first that I had a chance to get promoted! I was able to get close to that opportunity for less that 3 weeks of being a regular employee.
And, Oh yeah... I get be a REGULAR EMPLOYEE..!!
I was soo happy... I thought "I am on the right track!"
Thought the failed promotion was a bit of a bummer and it kinda got me off track a little bit, but I was able to recover.
A few days after, we have received update from my GF's employer. Asides from the good news that her application was accepted and that its just a matter of months for them to finish the process, they have clarified that her contract would only be for 2 years.
Just 2 years...
Her chance of staying in Canada somehow had a huge block. According to some people that we have talked to, you can only apply for residency if you had been working with in the country for at least 3 years. And that if approved, you can even send your family to Canada to live with you for good.
I thought, it's okay. My girl friend is so good in terms of working, and she is a very hard working person, it should be okay. There is a chance that her contract will be renewed, then she can apply for residency after 3 years.
I am so proud of my girl friend. She is almost there. Having a life where your work wont eat up most of your time, get properly paid, live in a country which is far more better than where we are currently living in, and she gets to enjoy all that with her family. It would only be a matter of time.
Unlike me... Where I have no work experience... I still have not achieved any thing since the day that I graduated... And I still have to work on having a very good credential for me to land on a job abroad...
I am so Fucked!?
Then it hit me... If I were to stay in that job for two years, then spend at least one year in the field of EMT in Manila ('cause the training center is there), that would be a total of 3 years... What if I was not able to save money needed for me to go to Manila? Man, I don't even know how much I should save? And we are talking about Manila here, where the cost of living is high. I got no where to stay in for free. I still have to worry about my daily expenses. Traffic is horrible. And what about the crime rate? I'll be robed, or even worst, get killed there in no time. Basically not a good place to go, but it's the only place where I can get the proper training (I think) and the experience needed to be an effective EMT asap!
After thinking about those points, I thought, is it really possible for me to save enough amount of money for me to survive there? Given how my salary seems to be just enough for our daily and monthly expenses, it seems impossible. Since the time that I was regularize, I was unable to save even a buck from my salary as a CSR. I might end up staying in that company for more than just two years, then I might not be able to catch up with my GF.
What if I just focused on being an EMT and continue with my job?
What if this..? what if that..?
So I had a dilemma on what to do. I had full of fears and can't think clearly. It some how affected my Job. Not to mention that my health is already a factor for me to perform, with this confusion on top, I was breaking down. I was slacking at work, lied to my boss and applied for a one week off just so I can enjoy not going to work, acquired a couple of unapproved absences just 'cause I don't want to go to work yet, it was a non stop snowballing of events. Until it halted and one of our clients, meaning our Boss' Boss, caught me committing what was identified as "Call Avoidance".
I was terminated...
I lost my job... I lost my chance of catching up... I almost lost her during the process... "I" was loss...
Now this time, I have NO OTHER CHOICE. The BPO industry was a fun place, at first, but then in the long run, it's so tiresome and I was so exhausted at some point the I end up quitting. I realized that this type of job was not for me. I can never excel on that kind of duty. I can't go back.
I have decided that I should finished what I have started - EMT.
I may not have that financial stability, or no money at all, but at least I only need to have my self get the experience that I need. With this I only need at least a year to work it out go to UAE or Dubai then get another year of experience then I can catch up to her in Canada. And to good part is that, "if", God forbid, she is unable to renew her contract she can always catch up with me to where I am and still have a more that fair salary as an employee. From there we can try to go to Canda, or somewhere else we want, together.
But, then again, where the HELL AM I GONNA GET THE EXPERIENCE. If there was, I could have started it a long time ago. The problem is that there is little to none in terms of opportunity here if we are talking about EMT's here in Cebu. Plus a couple of wrong decisions that I made that worsened the situation (it was before). Basically it was a little bit hopeless.
A few weeks ago, my old Boss, (Well... We can't really call him boss 'cause he's not paying us, really) contacted me and said I should try applying for the Apas Rescue Team. An Ambulance Crew! Hurray! And just in our Brangay, Hurray!! All I have to do is got the the Barangay Hall, have a talked with the captain and I should be one of the members of the very first Barangay Apas Ambulance Crew Shit!! Wooohoo!!
It was a small ray of hope for me. I was somewhat happy and scared at the same time. IT HAS BEEN AWHILE. I don't remember all the things that I have learned from my training. Although, I do remember and mastered the basic stuff and I should or else I cannot call my self a BLS - First Aid Trainer. Ok not a licensed trainer, a representative, but still, I was the one teaching the stuff. So it's impossible for me to forget all that. And, besides, it was just a couple of years.
Any ways...
I went to the barangay hall, but 'Cap was not here. Hmmm... Maybe some other time. Then some emergency happened and my GF got a call telling her that she needs to go to Manila for her Visa. Wow! That was so sudden. For a moment I was worried about my EMT and she was worried of her mum having been admitted to the hospital, now this.
With the help of my Mum, she was able to go to Manila and process the thing. A couple of BullShit happened along the way thanks to some @$$HOLE who seems to be coming from country who do not know how to respect women. That was addressed and everything went good. Unfortunately, not for me, turns out the Apas Ambu Team is now complete and they are no longer in need for more applicants. FUCK!!!! I spent hours and days just to set an appointment and all that and... Aaarrg...
So bottom line I was loss again. I have no idea where to go in Cebu to have EMT experience. I have this news post about a full time job but, I guess its somewhere in Balamban. I was like, I can't live in Balamban! I don't have a place to live there, for free (Hehe). Thing is, I have so limited resources that I cannot afford living in Balamban, even if it has pay. And besides, I cannot leave while my GF is anxious about her leaving everything behind, including me. She wants to spend the last few moments with us and her family before she leaves for Canada. She is gonna need my support.
I also have this gossip about University of Cebu hiring people for the up coming UCMed. It's a brand new hospital that UC is building. Of course, they are gonna be hiring people, but most of the people that I know has no fucking idea when will this start. My brother already submitted his application, but it seems that it was not yet being prioritized. Why? You ask? My brothers experience with one of the staff will give you slight of an idea.
One day in University of Cebu Main Campus, my younger brother "Janus", went to the administration office and submitted his application as a Nurse for the new upcoming UCMed. Basically he wanted to apply for the job. It's just a bit weird because there was no interview, no questions asked, they did not even try to know my brothers name. They just asked him to place his documents in a particular area. Now, knowing my brother... Wait... You know what, if you were there you will also notice something. I mean, it only needs common sense, I guess. Or may be I am wrong, but what my brother saw was just a stack file of folders and papers. It kinda looked like old files that needs to be shredded or thrown away. He was so tempted to ask the staff, "Asa ibutang Sir? Diri sa trash can?" ("Where do you want me to put this? Here in the trash can?") But, he just let it slide. Until now we are unsure of what had happened to his papers. Are they being reconsidered and reviewed or did my brother had the correct assessment of the situation?
I also wanted to try applying for UCMed as an Ambulance Nurse, but with what my brother just saw, I don't think its a good option.
As of the moment I am waiting for any updates with Apas, since Boss JabMabs will talk to the Barangay Captain again for reconsideration. Also, my mother have this co-teacher of hers that works closely with the Captain and that he might set a meeting with me. Hopefully they would reconsider.
Whew! That was a long one... I did not realize my mumbling went so far... I mean, the contents that you just read does not entirely relate to the title of the post at all... Maybe I should change this post tittle to "Me and my life"? I don't know... Well, at least I am now feeling a little bit sleepy. And I think it kinda helped me think about the things that I needed to do. But, that would be for next time.
=======
I just hope no one is reading this post... They would probably think I am Crazy... XD
To my Blog Site, and if there would be someone who is kind enough to read through 'till the end, here is a little message:
"Writing is closer to Thinking than Speaking."
-- Author: Unkown.
I just read this on the cover of my new notebook... Hehe
Good Night!! (Or Morning, now @ 2:22 AM November 9, 20014)
Can't sleep...
For some reason there is a lot of USELESS things that's going in and out of my head. Ever had that moment where you are, sort of, Day Dreaming... Although its night time... And you should have been snoring your self to sleep... Yeah... I am having that Night Time Day Dreaming-ish...
The internet is not helping either. I have finished reading all the updates in Manga websites for the week (prior this night). I have nothing to watch and can't watch anything in YouTube ('cause I have watched them all). I was imagining my self as a cook, preparing mouth watering dishes ( I end up eating biscuits, and only biscuits ). I have flash memories of trailers and movies in the horror department ( I don't know why). Damn it, I just can't sleep.
While my girl is snoring away, I am all awake doing non sense. Well... Facebook and stuff...
But then, I suddenly remembered my Blog Site. Oh My God! I have a Blog Site, that I have forgotten all this time. So I thought, I might as well write something.
Unfortunately, I have nothing significant to write. My mind is full of soo may things that I can't start with What, Where, How and BullSh*t..!!
Ehem! Ehem! Pardon my French...
Damn it! I Don't Give a Sh*t! I'll cuss if I want. This is my Blog any ways...
As if some one would read this piece of garbage.
I mean people know that this is just scribbling and what not...
Hmm.....
Breathe....
My be I should start with the event that, somehow, tipped off the whole progress that I had?
Or maybe from the part where I thought I had progress in terms of "Progress" in my life?
Hmm...
March 2014. I was hired as a Customer Service Representative (again!). Then I was out last October.
Trust me when I say this, I really have done my best. In fact, I must say that my time in this company was sort of an achievement for me. I was doing good, though not all the time if you look into my bonus pay, but I had my late and absenteeism cured down to 5%. ( Unlike before where a week would not end if I were not absent or late for not less than twice every week)
It was a very good feeling. I failed to get promoted, but it was ok. It was the very first that I had a chance to get promoted! I was able to get close to that opportunity for less that 3 weeks of being a regular employee.
And, Oh yeah... I get be a REGULAR EMPLOYEE..!!
I was soo happy... I thought "I am on the right track!"
Thought the failed promotion was a bit of a bummer and it kinda got me off track a little bit, but I was able to recover.
A few days after, we have received update from my GF's employer. Asides from the good news that her application was accepted and that its just a matter of months for them to finish the process, they have clarified that her contract would only be for 2 years.
Just 2 years...
Her chance of staying in Canada somehow had a huge block. According to some people that we have talked to, you can only apply for residency if you had been working with in the country for at least 3 years. And that if approved, you can even send your family to Canada to live with you for good.
I thought, it's okay. My girl friend is so good in terms of working, and she is a very hard working person, it should be okay. There is a chance that her contract will be renewed, then she can apply for residency after 3 years.
I am so proud of my girl friend. She is almost there. Having a life where your work wont eat up most of your time, get properly paid, live in a country which is far more better than where we are currently living in, and she gets to enjoy all that with her family. It would only be a matter of time.
Unlike me... Where I have no work experience... I still have not achieved any thing since the day that I graduated... And I still have to work on having a very good credential for me to land on a job abroad...
I am so Fucked!?
Then it hit me... If I were to stay in that job for two years, then spend at least one year in the field of EMT in Manila ('cause the training center is there), that would be a total of 3 years... What if I was not able to save money needed for me to go to Manila? Man, I don't even know how much I should save? And we are talking about Manila here, where the cost of living is high. I got no where to stay in for free. I still have to worry about my daily expenses. Traffic is horrible. And what about the crime rate? I'll be robed, or even worst, get killed there in no time. Basically not a good place to go, but it's the only place where I can get the proper training (I think) and the experience needed to be an effective EMT asap!
After thinking about those points, I thought, is it really possible for me to save enough amount of money for me to survive there? Given how my salary seems to be just enough for our daily and monthly expenses, it seems impossible. Since the time that I was regularize, I was unable to save even a buck from my salary as a CSR. I might end up staying in that company for more than just two years, then I might not be able to catch up with my GF.
What if I just focused on being an EMT and continue with my job?
What if this..? what if that..?
So I had a dilemma on what to do. I had full of fears and can't think clearly. It some how affected my Job. Not to mention that my health is already a factor for me to perform, with this confusion on top, I was breaking down. I was slacking at work, lied to my boss and applied for a one week off just so I can enjoy not going to work, acquired a couple of unapproved absences just 'cause I don't want to go to work yet, it was a non stop snowballing of events. Until it halted and one of our clients, meaning our Boss' Boss, caught me committing what was identified as "Call Avoidance".
I was terminated...
I lost my job... I lost my chance of catching up... I almost lost her during the process... "I" was loss...
Now this time, I have NO OTHER CHOICE. The BPO industry was a fun place, at first, but then in the long run, it's so tiresome and I was so exhausted at some point the I end up quitting. I realized that this type of job was not for me. I can never excel on that kind of duty. I can't go back.
I have decided that I should finished what I have started - EMT.
I may not have that financial stability, or no money at all, but at least I only need to have my self get the experience that I need. With this I only need at least a year to work it out go to UAE or Dubai then get another year of experience then I can catch up to her in Canada. And to good part is that, "if", God forbid, she is unable to renew her contract she can always catch up with me to where I am and still have a more that fair salary as an employee. From there we can try to go to Canda, or somewhere else we want, together.
But, then again, where the HELL AM I GONNA GET THE EXPERIENCE. If there was, I could have started it a long time ago. The problem is that there is little to none in terms of opportunity here if we are talking about EMT's here in Cebu. Plus a couple of wrong decisions that I made that worsened the situation (it was before). Basically it was a little bit hopeless.
A few weeks ago, my old Boss, (Well... We can't really call him boss 'cause he's not paying us, really) contacted me and said I should try applying for the Apas Rescue Team. An Ambulance Crew! Hurray! And just in our Brangay, Hurray!! All I have to do is got the the Barangay Hall, have a talked with the captain and I should be one of the members of the very first Barangay Apas Ambulance Crew Shit!! Wooohoo!!
It was a small ray of hope for me. I was somewhat happy and scared at the same time. IT HAS BEEN AWHILE. I don't remember all the things that I have learned from my training. Although, I do remember and mastered the basic stuff and I should or else I cannot call my self a BLS - First Aid Trainer. Ok not a licensed trainer, a representative, but still, I was the one teaching the stuff. So it's impossible for me to forget all that. And, besides, it was just a couple of years.
Any ways...
I went to the barangay hall, but 'Cap was not here. Hmmm... Maybe some other time. Then some emergency happened and my GF got a call telling her that she needs to go to Manila for her Visa. Wow! That was so sudden. For a moment I was worried about my EMT and she was worried of her mum having been admitted to the hospital, now this.
With the help of my Mum, she was able to go to Manila and process the thing. A couple of BullShit happened along the way thanks to some @$$HOLE who seems to be coming from country who do not know how to respect women. That was addressed and everything went good. Unfortunately, not for me, turns out the Apas Ambu Team is now complete and they are no longer in need for more applicants. FUCK!!!! I spent hours and days just to set an appointment and all that and... Aaarrg...
So bottom line I was loss again. I have no idea where to go in Cebu to have EMT experience. I have this news post about a full time job but, I guess its somewhere in Balamban. I was like, I can't live in Balamban! I don't have a place to live there, for free (Hehe). Thing is, I have so limited resources that I cannot afford living in Balamban, even if it has pay. And besides, I cannot leave while my GF is anxious about her leaving everything behind, including me. She wants to spend the last few moments with us and her family before she leaves for Canada. She is gonna need my support.
I also have this gossip about University of Cebu hiring people for the up coming UCMed. It's a brand new hospital that UC is building. Of course, they are gonna be hiring people, but most of the people that I know has no fucking idea when will this start. My brother already submitted his application, but it seems that it was not yet being prioritized. Why? You ask? My brothers experience with one of the staff will give you slight of an idea.
One day in University of Cebu Main Campus, my younger brother "Janus", went to the administration office and submitted his application as a Nurse for the new upcoming UCMed. Basically he wanted to apply for the job. It's just a bit weird because there was no interview, no questions asked, they did not even try to know my brothers name. They just asked him to place his documents in a particular area. Now, knowing my brother... Wait... You know what, if you were there you will also notice something. I mean, it only needs common sense, I guess. Or may be I am wrong, but what my brother saw was just a stack file of folders and papers. It kinda looked like old files that needs to be shredded or thrown away. He was so tempted to ask the staff, "Asa ibutang Sir? Diri sa trash can?" ("Where do you want me to put this? Here in the trash can?") But, he just let it slide. Until now we are unsure of what had happened to his papers. Are they being reconsidered and reviewed or did my brother had the correct assessment of the situation?
I also wanted to try applying for UCMed as an Ambulance Nurse, but with what my brother just saw, I don't think its a good option.
As of the moment I am waiting for any updates with Apas, since Boss JabMabs will talk to the Barangay Captain again for reconsideration. Also, my mother have this co-teacher of hers that works closely with the Captain and that he might set a meeting with me. Hopefully they would reconsider.
Whew! That was a long one... I did not realize my mumbling went so far... I mean, the contents that you just read does not entirely relate to the title of the post at all... Maybe I should change this post tittle to "Me and my life"? I don't know... Well, at least I am now feeling a little bit sleepy. And I think it kinda helped me think about the things that I needed to do. But, that would be for next time.
=======
I just hope no one is reading this post... They would probably think I am Crazy... XD
To my Blog Site, and if there would be someone who is kind enough to read through 'till the end, here is a little message:
"Writing is closer to Thinking than Speaking."
-- Author: Unkown.
I just read this on the cover of my new notebook... Hehe
Good Night!! (Or Morning, now @ 2:22 AM November 9, 20014)
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